Pretty amazing how we create our own monsters, ghosts, insecurities, and obstacles. I had an enlightening conversation last night, with the right person and at the right time it seems - and something clicked big time. It triggered a clarity that I have not experienced in awhile.
About three years ago I had an episode of what I label as 'deep mid-life confusion and doubt', and I have been trying to retrieve my usual pre-confusion energy ever since. Something had shifted, and up to now I was convinced that I was not going to find my old self again. I felt slightly damaged, and could not put my finger on what needed to be fixed.
Now I see that most of that state of mind is of my own fabrication. I let it happen, and fostered the idea that part of me was broken forever. Dwelling on my loss of clarity over the past couple of years, I was pretty good at convincing myself that it was a change I had to accept. Self sabotage. I find this fascinating... people are such complicated creatures!
So yesterday, the person I was conversing with said exactly what I needed to hear to make me sort of stand back and see this personal hurdle in a slightly different light and angle. It was just enough to reveal what I needed to see... and it feels tremendously empowering.
I am back. Thank you for your good words of wisdom dear Tanya!
Somewhere between Izamal and Sudzal, Yucatan.
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